The New Pets (1)

A meeting of the Twinn Council of South Africa had been called by Amanda to discuss the arrival and allocation of pets for the Twinns. Caitlyn, as Alpha Twinn was chairing the meeting. Also present was Dawn, Amanda, Brenda and Sarah Willow, Heather was there to take notes, read minutes, make tea and serve biscuits (because no meeting of the Twinn Council would be complete without biscuits).


“I call this meeting of the Twinn Council of South Africa to order” Caitlyn announced, banging the table with the official gavel. “At the request of Amanda, we have….”
Heather was gesticulating madly in the background,


“Heather? is there a problem?”
“Cait, you haven’t done The Ritual. You must do The Ritual. It’s all in the rule books you know. A meeting wouldn’t be a meeting without The Ritual.”
“The Ritual? what do you mean?”
“You know, the “opening of the eye of knowledge stuff”, like they have in the best conspiracy movies.”
“Aaaah… now I know. Ok, just to make you happy Heather”. Caitlyn stood up and intoned in a solemn voice. “Has the Mary Jane of Justice been buckled?”


“The Mary Jane of Justice has been Buckled.” Everybody affirmed.
Dawn stood up. “Has the Biscuit of Knowledge been dunked in the Tea of Truth?”
“It will be as soon as the teamaker of the Tea of Truth has made the Tea of Truth.” Sarah Willow said.
“Has the Velcro of Everlasting Stickiness been ripped asunder?” Brenda asked.
“The Velcro of Stickiness has been ripped asunder, removing many quantities of hair in the process”. Caitlyn replied solemnly.
“Has the little Potty of Bulldust been emptied?” Sarah Willow asked in typical Lenora fashion.


“Er, as far as I know its currently being filled by this ritual stuff.” Dawn said.
“Has the Hound of Protection been allowed to sniff at the Lamppost of Enlightenment?” Amanda asked in as solemn a voice as she could muster.
“It has, and it has also widdled on the Carpet of all Knowledge and chewed on the Slipper of Contentment.” Brenda said with a giggle.
“Aah, you girls are having me on, now I am all confused.” Heather said.
“Has the Handkerchief of Confusion been pulled over Heather’s eyes?” Caitlyn asked.
“It has oh grand poohbah of the chair,” Dawn said, “unfortunately the Light of Knowledge only shines dimly within the ear of our secretary.”
The gavel was banged on the table and Caitlyn addressed the meeting. “Ok, enough of this stuff, we have to get this meeting done or I will miss the latest rubber monster movie on TV. Heather, take the minutes please.”


“Minutes? I thought I was supposed to take notes?” Heather asked.
“Notes, as in Minutes Heather.” Caitlyn explained again.
“And take them every second.” Dawn added. “And make sure the Tea of Truth doth not get cold while you are about it. And, before we begin I would like to raise a point your most excellent chairpoohbah.” Dawn interrupted.


“You would? OK Dawn, make it so….” Caitlyn said. She was used to Dawn doing things like this and had discovered that it was best to pander to her whims or suffer the slings and arrows of a thousand interruptions throughout the meeting.
“Ma’am Chairpoohbah, what has happened to the Brenda we all know and love? This looks like an imposter!”
Brenda giggled, “I thought I would try a whole new look, I was tired of the old hair. I needed a change, it said so in the stars.”


“Aaah, Ok, let it be entered into the minutes that the meeting recognises The Astonishing Brenda, Fortunes Told and Palms Read. And furthermore that we do approve of her new look. Now can we get on with it?”

Caitlyn addressed the assembled Twinn Council. “As everybody knows some of the Twinns here do not have pets and would like to adopt some of their own. This is where Amanda takes over the chair and I can dunk my biccie of truth into my tea of teatime. Amanda, it’s all yours.”


© DRW. August 2008-2018. Moved to blog 01/05/2015

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