"Thank you Elinor. And here are the news headlines read by Justyn. Today's headlines include.... "Madame Hi Heel parole request denied." "Real live Croc terrorises Berks County" "Police report that incidents of nude sneezing in bars on the decline." "Cellphone mania gives teens repetitive stress injuries." and finally, "The first case of a co-joined Twin Twinn under investigation."

"And now let's go over to David, our roving reporter in Pennsylvania for a report on the Japanese beetle infestation. Take it away, Dave." "Thank you, Justyn. The news here is that hordes of Japanese beetles have invaded the garden. They have totally decimated the two plum trees and now have started to work on the grapes. I have with me two of the Berkeleys who live in the area. Would anyone like to comment on the situation? Rory?" "We didn't have anything to do with the beetles," announced Rory. "Don't blame us." "I don't think they even came from Japan," insisted Alice. "They are too gross to be from Japan." "Uh, Alice, they did come from Japan, but it was back in 1916 in a shipment of plants," David pointed out. "Then they spread throughout the eastern United States." "Well, we're doing our best to get rid of them," Rory stated. "We Berks used some of our savings for beetle traps, and every night we go around with sticks and knock them into a bucket of soapy water." "Thank you," said David, "it sounds as if you have the situation well in hand. Now back to the studio and Justyn." "Thank you, David and Rory and Alice," said Justyn. "That wraps up today's top stories. We now take you across to our very own Eye in the Sky Cosmic Tangerine. This traffic report is brought to you by Devon's Professional Pet Sitting Service." "From the friskiest feline To a bunny so small Dog, skunk, or hedgehog We take care of them all!" "Are you there CT?" "Reading you loud and clear Justyn, I am flying over Empire Road in Milpark at the moment and its very quiet down there on the ground. The weather up here above the city is marvellous, the light wind has blown the pollution away and elsewhere I can see the traffic moving at it's usual snails pace. The mess on the M1 North is not likely to be cleared away by tomorrow, by which time there is bound to be another mess in the same area. I have just taken a turn over Gillooleys and a truck has lost a load of beer. A large number of cars have pulled over and drivers are helping themselves to free beer. The traffic cops have established a breathalyser station a kilometre up the highway and have nabbed a number of drunken drivers. I am heading across now to see what the latest is at the Crown interchange and will let you know what I see. Back to you Justyn."

"Thanks CT, keep us posted. And now a reminder that you are tuned to Radio WTWINN, your station for lighter listening. I will be back at the top of the hour with more news. Back to you Elinor." "Thanks Justyn. It sounds like CT is going to be really busy for the next hour or so, we will catch up with her when Justyn returns at midday with an in depth news, sports and traffic bulletin. You are turned ot the Mid Morning Show with Elinor and this portion of our show is brought to you by Croc Camp 2007. We have a special guest in the studio to tell you all about this year's Camp. It is The Aston... I mean, it is our good friend Brenda, with Carruthers, Constantinople and Copacabana Croc. Take it away, Bren." "Thank you, Elinor. Croc Camp 2007 is presented in memory of Steve Irwin and it is supervised by the well-known Carlisle Croc. Your child will have the experience of camping out in the woods, learning new skills, arts and crafts, fishing, hiking, plus there is plenty of leisure time for reading, swimming, playing games with your friends, or just meditating in the lovely wooded surroundings. Come join your old friends and make new ones. Enjoy gourmet meals prepared by first class chefs and learn woodsmanship, or should I say Woodspersonship? The camp fees are very reasonable and include uniforms, lodging, all meals. and having to listen to Taryn play her bugle first thing in the morning." Brenda chuckled. "Just kidding, Taryn. Croc Camp is lots of fun and I encourage everyone to sign up as soon as possible."

"Thank you Brenda, but first some music. Do you have any special requests Bren?" "Thanks Elinor, could you please play "United We Stand, Divided We Fall" by the Brotherhood of Man for all the Twinns all over the world?" "Sure Brenda, and if I may say so, its a very apt Twinn song. Play it away Brotherhood of Man..." "For united we stand, divided we fall And if our backs should ever be against the wall We'll be together, together, you and I "

"Now that brings back fond memories. You are tuned to Radio TWINN, and I would like to thank our special guests The Aston... I mean, Brenda, Carruthers, Constantinople and Copacabana Croc. Bren, one last thing before you go, what does the future hold for all of us?" "Elinor, its almost impossible to fortell the future, but I am always reminded about one small piece of advice I was given many years ago. The future is what you make of it, do your best to make a great future, if you don't then you may be dissapointed when it turns out bad. Thanks for having me on your show Elinor, and we hope to see a team from radio WTWINN at camp." "I will raise it with our station manager Brenda, I know the team would love to do a special broadcast from Croc Camp. You are tuned to Radio WTWINN, stay with us as we approach midday.... Our next request comes from Wendy in PA. She writes, "Dear Elinor, could you please play a tune for all the members of the Society of Compulsive Knitters (aka SOCK). We need something inspiring to get those needles clicking. Also please send my best regards to all the Caities out there. Tell them that I say "Caities Rock" "Thanks for the letter Wendy. I got to thinking about SOCK and decided that maybe they should try some satin instead of wool, so here is Justin Hayward and the boys from the Moody Blues." "Nights in white satin, Never reaching the end, Letters I've written, Never meaning to send." "We are coming on to midday, and its time that I started vacating this studio and head off to our drama department, so that we can prepare for todays episode of our ongoing saga of the Herring family in "An Altogether Fishy Business." I will leave you in the capable hands of some uninterrupted music while I brush up on my fishy business. I will be back after the news, sports and "An Altogether Fishy Business" for some more requests, music and traffic. Keep tuned into Radio WTWINN. Your station for brighter broadcasting.

© DR Walker, JE Sturgis 2007.

Song lyrics are the property of the respective authors, artists and labels, these snippets are provided for educational purposes only
I Want To Break Free, words by John Deacon, Perfomed by Queen.
Turn the Radio Up, Performed by Eric Carmen (Arista as1-9686 / 1988)
Crocodile Rock. Music by Elton John, lyrics by Bernie Taupin. (Dont shoot me I'm only the piano player)
Whats New Pussycat, performed by Tom Jones
Little China Girl. Performed by David Bowie.
Sara Smile. Performed by Daryl hall and John Oates
YMCA. Performed by the Village People.
United We Stand, Divided We Fall. Performed by the Brotherhood of Man.
Nights in White Satin performed by The Moody Blues.